Runaway Love

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This is a confession.

You are the first to know about this.

Do not tell anyone. No one!

Back in the days when I was in SSS, I was one of those girls who seemed “hard” but was very soft at heart. To be sincere, I fell for several of the guys that I interacted with but I made sure to always give this very cool look like I was so disinterested.

There was this particular guy who was just so so interesting! Let’s call him Kwame. I met Kwame during one of the Interco days that I was on duty at the Red Cross stand. The beautiful thing about being at the Red Cross stand was that you were not supposed to cheer but only work, that is take care of the hurt athletes. Of course, one has to chat while working, right? So you can imagine how beautiful being at that stand was! I could spend my whole time during Interco “working” with guys while my mates would be shooed away to “shi gyama” anytime they were caught talking to a guy.

So back to Kwame. Kwame is not your average good-looking guy but there was something beautiful about him! He had a way with words which was understandable because he was a good writer. He had really cute mannerisms as he spoke and he told really interesting stories. He came to the Red Cross stand to visit a friend of mine who was his mate back in JSS. She introduced him to me and that was it! We spent the rest of the time together chatting away. Ei. Sorry! I mean working. I left with a smile across my heart.

The following day, I went back to Interco. Guess what? It wasn’t Kwame I met this time around. I met his friend. Let’s call him Ansah. Oh Ansah! Ansah was cuuuuute! I mean how could a guy be so cute?! And his smile? Charley! His eyes literally danced when he smiled. I didn’t need to talk to Ansah for too long before falling for him.

Shortly after Interco, my school had our Speech and Prize Giving Day. Interestingly, both Kwame and Ansah came around to see several friends in my school. After my family had left, I joined my other friends to chat with Kwame and Ansah. When visiting time was almost over, the rest of my friends left to prepare for prep but I stayed to chat till the warning bell went. I was mesmerized! I doubt I learnt anything during prep that day. In fact, prep right after visiting time was such a mistake! But well. Those were the rules.

Two weeks later, I knew in my heart that Kwame and Ansah would come to visit. No, neither of them had written but I just knew it. Unfortunately, that was the day “my too known came”. I was angry with myself for liking two guys who were friends at the same time and entertaining them every now and then. When it was visiting time, I went off to hide my self in a room that people study in during visiting time when they are very sure they would not get a visitor because it is the only quiet place on campus during that time. I “learnt” throughout visiting.

A few minutes to prep, I went to the house to get a snack from the pantry. Virtually everyone I met told me of the two guys from Botwe who came to visit me. I was told they waited for so long to see me but no one could find me. I feigned surprise.

I think I hurt myself that day. I spent prep thinking about the conversation that never was.

Women. Why do we run away from love sometimes?

When Death Strikes

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Death. The one certainty that we would rather not hear about. Death is so final. It’s just the end. Last stop. Last goodbye. Never again would that person be seen alive here on earth.

There’s something that rings in my heart so much with respect to friendship when a person dies.

We as a nation are mourning someone that really made a mark here and went on to make impact outside our country. God bless Komla Dumor for the impact he made and may his soul rest in perfect peace. 

So what has been ringing in my heart? Ever since we heard of his death on Saturday, almost every station (radio and television) has run a program on him, particularly mentioning the fact that he made a lot of impact. As I listen to these programs, I also hear a lot of people pass comments that are variants of “We remember people only after they are dead.” I cannot help but agree with them. I know you agree too. I have lost some two or three friends in the last few years. Just after they died, their Facebook walls were filled with messages from their friends and loved ones. Facebook walls that had been virtually empty for days, weeks or even months. So it’s true, we only remember people in their death. 

But then I ask, “Do we like to be remembered while we are alive?”

Take this whatsapp conversation that I bet you have had at least once:-

Sender: Hello

You: Hi

Sender: Wassup?

You: Cool. U?

Sender: Cool too. Where are you now?

You: In school. U? 

Sender:I’m also in school.

(After a few minutes)

Sender:Well, I just wanted to check up on you. Have a nice day.

You: Oh ok. Thx. 

But deep down, you get this feeling of wasn’t that an annoying conversation? Or you wonder if the person truly contacted you to just check up on you. 

Another typical conversation:-

Sender:Hi. How are you doing?

You:Good. U?

Sender:Good. Could I get ABC’s number?

You:Okay. (Number sent)

Deep down however, you are saying to yourself “<Sender’s name> only remembers me when he/she needs something.”

This trend is too common in our fast-paced world that people would rather communicate with their colleagues and those they have a deeper relationship with. You know, those 5% of Facebook friends that are really friends. They wouldn’t want to be known as the person who only remembers his friend when he needs something. Neither would he want to have an awkward conservation just because he wants to do his best to be “checking on” his friends. 

So really, are we to blame to remember people only in their death? Wouldn’t it feel awkward if a radio station simply decides to talk a lot about a person throughout a week just to praise his good works at a point in time? I do not know about you but it would sure feel awkward to me. 

So can we say man by nature does not naturally praise people as often as they deserve praise? I really wonder a lot about these but honestly, I have no answers. 

What do you think? What kind of friend would you want to be? 

-A whisper from Dzifa